CAPTIVITY

 This is me on the left. This picture was taken on a night I will never forget. This was in 2019. A girls night out! Woohoo!! But I wasn't actually having fun. (Driving home in the pouring rain after seeing a bar full of overly drunk people singing Karaoke wasn't at all fun!) In reality, I was miserable. I was 231 lbs. The heaviest I have ever been. You see, I have been riding this weight loss and weight gain roller coaster for many years and have went from the guilt of knowing that I am in a bad state of mind to the periods of euphoria when I lost a considerable amount of weight. 

 In speaking with some friends after last night's WW Meeting, we discussed how it all comes down to the mental state of a person at any given time. Why is it that sometimes we don't we realize that we are reverting to old habits? Or do we realize and choose to ignore? Why do old habits seem ok (to begin with) until they have you miserable or unhappy with yourself? Why do we sometimes need to hit bottom and say enough is enough? I know how much better I feel when I am under 170 lbs. I know how bad it feels to be over 230 lbs. So why do I let myself give in to emotions and binge eat? I enjoy the feeling of movement. I enjoy dancing, walking and other exercise. So why do I stop? 

 It's like Paul in the Bible. Paul seems to describe a lack of ability to do anything good (Romans 7:15, 19, 24), and refers to being captive and enslaved to sin (Romans 7:14, 23). Paul says that although he wants to do what is right, he ends up doing what is wrong. 

 We want to eat right and take care of our bodies but sometimes we just go at it the wrong way. Eating nutritious food is good, but if you you obsess about it to a degree that can damage your overall well-being, then it is not good. Exercising is good but if we strain our bodies or burn out on too much exercise we are hurting more than helping. We can be in different types of captivity. 

 So what to do?  You give yourself GRACE. You tell yourself that first steps take time to become bigger steps. Bigger steps take time to become your new normal steps. You FORGIVE yourself for the past mistakes because that is what Grace is about. That's what God does for us so why can't we do it for ourselves? Of course we are going to fall short sometimes, in life and how we treat our bodies. We may have lazy days, days that we binge or days that we are hateful or unmotivated. It happens. So what? Move on! Just don't let it become a cycle and hold you captive. 

 

Free Indeed

  

      2020 has been a year of hardship for many people. Covid, job losses, mandates, politics. People fighting and bickering on social media. Families falling apart instead of coming together. Churches closing doors and people afraid to hug or talk to each other. It has been CRAZY. But in all this I have trusted God and not believed much of the hype from news media. 

  Why?? Because my Faith is strong and although people lie, my God NEVER lies. I took the lies that Satan has been telling me for years and threw them back in his face. I am not a failure. I am a precious child of God. I am worthy because he who is in me is worthy.

  So that means I am  better off than I was years ago even in all this mess. I have been blessed. Yes, BLESSED. And you can be too! The heaviness that you feel can be lifted. Just trust in God and read his word. Cast your cares upon him. He loves you! When the Lord sets you free, you are FREE INDEED!

   If you need a prayer guide. Here is the best one ever. The Lord's Prayer.

               The Lord's Prayer

The Lord’s Prayer is actually quite short. This is how Jesus tells us to pray: with fewer words and more intimacy. We speak less so God can speak more. If we are the only ones talking when we pray, how then can we hear from God?

When Jesus said, ‘this then is how you should pray,’ he was telling his disciples to use it as a guide.

‘Our Father Who art in Heaven’  - Address God, Say his name, Call on him .

‘Hallowed be your name’  - Praise God, tell him what he means to you.

 ‘Thy Kingdom come’  - Surrender your hearts to the work of His Kingdom.

‘Thy Will be done On Earth as it is in Heaven’  - Pray for your hearts to seek his will, to accept it.

 ‘Give us this day our daily bread’  - Pray about your most practical needs, physical and spiritual.

‘Forgive us our sins’  - Name the ways in which you have sinned.

 ‘As we forgive others’  - Talk to God about the situation of your heart toward other people.

‘Lead us not into temptation’  - Ask God to lead you away from situations where you are tempted.

‘Deliver us from Evil’  - Pray for protection from all that is evil whether it be spirits or attitudes or political powers.

‘For Thine is the Kingdom’ acknowledge that everything is his, that he is in control

‘The power and the glory’ Pray that everything would be filled with this divine glory.

‘Forever’ Declare your Faith in His Eternal Power

‘Amen’ You are saying “So Be It” or “This is True”  

 

Two tens make twenty!

     Wow! This is how much fat I have lost in 10 weeks! I feel so much better already. My first goal was to lose ten pounds. Then twenty. And now my next goal is twenty five. I set the next goal for only five more pounds because after the first twenty most people lose weight at a slower pace. I am not on a particular diet plan now, but I am making healthier choices in food and portions. Plus I am more active. Even when I don't feel like walking or exercising, I try to suck it up and just do it! One of my favorite things to do now is hula hooping! A few years ago, I would never have imagined I would be hula hooping at 52 yrs old. I felt older a year ago than I do now.

    In the picture below you will see the new addition to our family. We welcomed our granddaughter Kinsley in to the world on May 17th. She is so precious!!! I also have two grandsons which are Kinsley's older brothers. Kole is 13 and Kaiden is 9. My grandbabies mean the world to me. That should be enough reason to stay healthy. They need Nana to stay around as long as possible to spoil them or sometimes set them straight when they wont listen to Mama or Daddy. But hey, that's how the cycle goes. Same thing happened with my kids and their grandparents. I just hope that I can help guide my kids and grandkids in a way that pleases God. My prayer is for them to become better people, better Christians. My mama and my Grandma Gladys helped guide me and that guidance made me who I am today. Not perfect, but a child of God who thanks Him with every fiber of my being for His Blessings in my life! 

   

Wellness Goes Hand In Hand With Weight Watching!

  Here I am again and it's still me and God but I am not currently enrolled in Weight Watchers. It is 2019 and I am coming up on my 53rd birthday. My body has been through a lot since my last post but I have managed to get answers to many of the problems that have been wearing me down. Two major diagnoses.. fibromyalgia and diverticulitis. Besides the fact that I have battled low thyroid for 25 yrs. I had major ankle reconstruction and a hysterectomy last year. And went through another bout of depression.
  BUT....I am not in that unhappy funk anymore! I changed Doctors and got back in church. Two of the best decisions I've made in a while. And thanks to my best friend Michelle, I am eating healthy and moving my body more. My dear husband has helped the process by putting a workout room in our basement. And my son James has encouraged me to walk at the local park with him several mornings in the past two weeks. We walk about a mile and a half and my little dog Daisy joins us.
   I had been told that staying active is the best thing for fibro but in the past I tended to overdo it and spend days afterwards hurting and just feeling drained. But now with God's help and the help of family and friends I am doing so much better. I had gained up to 231 lbs a couple of months ago. I am down to 212. I know that is a number that I don't need to dwell on, but it is a number that is too high to be healthy.
   I thank God that I am losing weight but mostly for what He is doing in my life. I have started participating in Revelation Wellness with my cousin Dena as the instructor. She is a blessing and a great encouragement for myself and others to be a better Christian, a better caretaker of our bodies and a better person as a whole.
    I know that God is working on me and leading me to a place where I can also be an inspiration to others. Hopefully this blog is a help and a Blessing to you, my readers. God Bless you and guide you in all your endeavors.

Seeking Inspiration and Encouragement Once Again

      It is now 2016 and three weeks ago I joined Weight Watchers once again.... for the 4th time. In three weeks I have only managed to lose 3.6 lbs. but that is a start. I am approaching my 50th birthday at 217 lbs with so many health problems that it is crazy. I was told by a Dr that I may have fibromyalgia. My right ankle has an old injury (torn ligaments and cartilage with nerve damage). I have carpal tunnel syndrome in both hands and had the surgery on my right hand just yesterday. I have sleep apnea with sleep paralysis, high BP and many other issues.
     My last post should have been the start of a new me, but sadly to say, I have somehow lost the me that had willpower and determination! This me has depression and anxiety, fatigue and joint problems. I know that my mentality can affect my  health, so I am here once again trying to blog my feelings in an effort to motivate myself and hopefully motivate others to STOP GIVING UP!!
    I know that God has control of all things but he also expects us to do our part. Mentally, physically, financially and spiritually! May this be the start of a better me once again....God I pray for strength and determination once again in the name of your son, JESUS.
    I am hoping to be able to do what is right for me but to be honest, I am not sure that Weight Watchers is the way to go. My meeting was in a different town and the atmosphere was not as encouraging as the meeting I attended in North Wilkesboro.

Rededication To God and My Health

                                   


 When I posted my last blog, I weighed 169 lbs and felt great. But I was having some depression because I was so close to my goal and had stopped dropping pounds. Instead of digging in and getting past feeling sorry for myself, I have up. I now look back at my journey and feel so ashamed at what I have become since then. It is almost three years later and I weighed three days ago, only to find out that I weigh 208 lbs. I am on more blood pressure pills than ever before, not to mention my other medicines for low thyroid, low serotonin, muscle tension, acid reflux, inflammation and depression. A pure mess!!!!
 I have been lacking also in my spiritual walk with God. I know that all things are possible with God, but I let myself become angry with God when my uncle Beamer died in August three years ago. I ate out of depression and started a downhill ride that stopped last Sunday! My heart was overjoyed when 13 people accepted Christ at my church. The drawing of the Holy spirit had my heart pounding and I rededicated my heart to Jesus Christ (along with many others in my church). We also had ten baptized!!!

 Needless to say, I have been eating better since I stepped off the scales. My husband and myself have been using the Weight Watchers Points system for the last three days. I know that I have a long way to go and I realize that I am a weak person without God's help. Fact is.....I have an addiction to food. But, thank God, I feel a renewed dedication and I ask for all your prayers and support.

Losing Weight At A Snail's Pace

   Lately, I have gotten pretty doggone lazy. I haven't quit exercising altogether. I still do water aerobics, but only on Mondays. And my walking? Well, I guess I've really wimped out on my walking/jogging lately (I call it wogging). I know..I know... I just talked about wanting to jog in my last post and I still believe that God showed me to keep trying if I wanted His help. Truth is...I have no excuse for why I have gotten lazy. I can blame it on lack of time, but I am sitting here typing (of course it is storming right now) instead of exercising.
   I could say it's because I have been working out in the heat for the last two weeks, but if I tried harder I could wake up early and go for a morning jog. I have a membership at the YMCA that is a 10 minute drive from my house, but once I sit down (especially after supper) I am down for the count. Don't get me wrong. I am still losing and have actually gotten down to 169.6 from my starting weight of 207.4. But if I don't get moving, I will stall out. It's funny how you know what to do sometimes but don't do it.
     I still track all my food, write my Scripture and write down my nightly prayer journal. Now I just need to get moving!!!!!!  Any advise or tips from my friends and supporters would be very helpful. (Oh, yeah, I did do a little dancing up in Virginia this past weekend. If I flatfooted like that every day I would surely get my metabolism going, but the joints won't allow such pounding before they would start to scream. )
  So this is where I am in this journey. Not where I was, but not quite there yet.